Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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