so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
