If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
