omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
