Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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