she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
