Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
