I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
