he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
