Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
