I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
