He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
