That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
