im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
