Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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