Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
