I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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