every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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