just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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