Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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