so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I need to stop coming to work sober
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
