mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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