JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He has the fingertips of a God
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