When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize