i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize