Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
