Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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