Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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