sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
