Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
