Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's shark week go big or go home
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
