I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
where does the pee come out of this thing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
