I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
