He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just cropdusted the office
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
