Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
