it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
