Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
