my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
