they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
