tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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