My first STD was from a foam party
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
