i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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