Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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