Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
