During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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