I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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