Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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