normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
