At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
