bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
