Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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