Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
