I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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