i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize