you guys were way drunker than both of me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
