paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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