If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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