absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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