you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize