Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My ass is underappreciated
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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