He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
