I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
