My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize