I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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