I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
