you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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