don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
