i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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