Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
