Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
