So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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