basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize