How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
