This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize