Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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