Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
